My handlebars arrived but they were motorcycle-type number plates (registration P26 something). Despite the contents of the package, the bike had been converted to an “upright” style, but looked like a Winnebago complete with roof canopy and shed at the back. The forks were very angular and had bright orange shifters…. And I was trying it out in what felt like the mid-West of the States. Was that woman a policewoman?

They say write down your dreams when you wake up otherwise you’ll forget them, no matter how vivid they were. Bleary-eyed, that’s what I’m doing but it was no dream, it was a nightmare! The picture is the nearest thing the Internet can throw up that comes anywhere near to the monster that I just saw.

What a way to celebrate the fact that I set off to Italy in exactly two months…. White rabbits? I just said it for good luck and to negate the dream.